Innovative homeowners are putting the once strong Chicago IronWorkers Union, otherwise known as 'those scary mask guys who make small concentrated fire beams on metal pieces', out of business. Even the makers of Duck Tape are beginning to worry, evidenced by their recent purchase of String, Rope, Cord, and Wire. Duck Tape spokesman, Mr. Donald, assures customers that their favorite materials for questionable bonding will not be discontinued but will now include an extra piece of duck tape, 'just in case'.
HUMBOLDT PARK
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