Illinois In-Laws Refuse to Live in In-Law

In an argument heard several yards away, the buyers of this Andersonville two flat were berated by their in-laws after attempting to persuade them to live in their soon to be acquired in-law cottage. "I didn't bust my behind to retirement just to take care of your kids. If you can't handle it, maybe you should stick your children in there and lock the door!" The buyers are currently interviewing nannies and directors of assisted living facilities.
Andersonville

Hansel & Gretel Fireplace Scares Nanny

In an effort to find some new amenity that homeowners will waste their money on, Grimm Brothers Construction, a local Chicago builder, has begun adding child-friendly fireplaces to their finished basements, with a promise that "your kids will learn the skills to enjoy life organically, creating combustion from both wood and flesh."
Old Irving Park