Hipster Security Windows Attracting Thieves

Avondale home sellers are being forced to re-consider staging their homes with bike parts from Craigslist. The rapid increase in bicycle thefts across Chicago has seen a glut in demand for used bicycle parts leaving some bike burglars covering their windows to prevent other bike burglars from burglaring their recently burgled bikes.
Avondale

Hardwood Floor Allergy? Seller has Solution

In an effort to appeal to the small but growing number of home buyers who are appalled at the rapidly disintegrating conditions of the nearly endangered Midwestern dust mite, the seller of this Bronzeville rowhome enlisted the professional expertise of neighborhood carpet salvagers to create a rug so luxuriantly beautiful that dust mites would no longer have to be concerned with their eradication at the hands of hardwood floor elitists who have exhibited a wholesale philistinism toward the rights and habitat of our most beloved allergens.
Bronzeville