Hardwood Floor Allergy? Seller has Solution

In an effort to appeal to the small but growing number of home buyers who are appalled at the rapidly disintegrating conditions of the nearly endangered Midwestern dust mite, the seller of this Bronzeville rowhome enlisted the professional expertise of neighborhood carpet salvagers to create a rug so luxuriantly beautiful that dust mites would no longer have to be concerned with their eradication at the hands of hardwood floor elitists who have exhibited a wholesale philistinism toward the rights and habitat of our most beloved allergens.
Bronzeville

RePurpose ChildProofing Not Serving Purpose

A Logan Square couple, enthusiastic about their recent success in repurposing old truck tires into a patio table thought they would use their new found artistic frugality to prevent their three year old child from falling over the low porch railing. Oddly, and perhaps fortunately, it was the couple's inebriated friend Jimbo who took the sixteen foot plunge rather than the little one.
Logan Square