Mirror Mirror On the Wall

An Avondale vanity refused to sanction the presumed beauty of her frame cottage's potential suitors. When asked by witnesses to account for such unbecoming behavior, the reflective oracle bluntly stated, "look, I'm not used to deese kind of peoples. Youse know da type, want good looks vali-dation and then upset I ain't no Robern or Kohler. $%*# dose people. I couldn't take it. So I cracked. I'm a mirror goddammit. And dis here is Avondale."
Avondale

Child Confused...About Everything

The six year old child of potential buyers who were looking at this turn of the century Logan Square two flat bombarded her parents with questions after the family shared an extended and very awkward moment of silence.

"Mommy, why are the sheets on the ceiling? Daddy, why is there a cat on the wall? Why is is one octopus happy and one mad? Why do the legs of the happy octopus look like something my friend Connor has? Mommy, do people really live here?"
Logan Square