Tenants Struggle with Psycho Remake

The seller of this Wicker Park 3 flat assured buyers that they would not be harmed in the making of his tenants 'little movie thing'. The seller, or "that cheap bastard in the basement" as he's referred to by his upstairs neighbors, has been renting to the artist community since the Great Wicker Park Artist Migration of the late 1980's. As buildings were gut renovated or torn down, that cheap bastard in the basement decided he'd rather keep his home and his loyal tenants than update his building. Considered one of the last great hold-outs of the 'old' Wicker Park, the seller told buyers he could have made a 'mint' years ago when values skyrocketed but was committed to the neighborhood until property taxes became unsustainable. "Why are these clowns at the county saying my building is worth a million dollars. I didn't pay anything near that for this place and shouldn't have to pay a tax based on that. Plus, they closed the Double Door. That was it."
Wicker Park

Pilsen Artists Really Struggling

The tenants of this Pilsen two flat were bemoaning increasing rents to prospective buyers of their building, highlighting their third world television as a prime example of their financial difficulties. They then retreated to their enclosed porch to watch a BitTorrent download of Game of Thrones on their new Macbook.
Pilsen

Child Confused...About Everything

The six year old child of potential buyers who were looking at this turn of the century Logan Square two flat bombarded her parents with questions after the family shared an extended and very awkward moment of silence.

"Mommy, why are the sheets on the ceiling? Daddy, why is there a cat on the wall? Why is is one octopus happy and one mad? Why do the legs of the happy octopus look like something my friend Connor has? Mommy, do people really live here?"
Logan Square

What is Behind that Red Leather Door?

Potential buyers of this Bucktown multi-unit are being asked if they are interested in entering a raffle to guess what is behind the locked red leather door for a chance to win a free furnace cleaning and one year of free furnace filters should they purchase the several hundred thousand dollar property.
BUCKTOWN