Buyers Warned About Going Number 1

The elderly seller of this Albany Park bungalow could not understand why potential buyers (or grandchildren) of his family home kept urinating in the basement. Apparently, the owner didn't know that raccoons can't read.
Albany Park

Patriotic & Paranoid - A True American

In preparation for July 4th, the potential seller of this Pilsen home let it be known that God blesses our nation and private property, however God will not consider VA loans. Cash only please.
Pilsen

Pilsen Artists Really Struggling

The tenants of this Pilsen two flat were bemoaning increasing rents to prospective buyers of their building, highlighting their third world television as a prime example of their financial difficulties. They then retreated to their enclosed porch to watch a BitTorrent download of Game of Thrones on their new Macbook.
Pilsen

Bathroom Fan Eliminated

In an effort to provide users with a guilt-free experience, the sellers of this Avondale single family home have created a towering structure guaranteed to conquer even the worst odors. Broan fans have allegedly announced a merger with Febreze to thwart all efforts at unseating their monopoly on the residential bathroom experience.
Avondale