Swings Have No Home Here

Rogers Park is a Chicago neighborhood known for it's social activism, but some resident activists have felt defeated in their battle to solve lives that matter, homes that hate, and presidents that really suck. So they have organized to support an entity that residents of all beliefs and political parties can stand behind. Literally. Local activists are feeling good about their efforts, but remaining cautiously optimistic, stating "we are starting to hear about certain families being divided, often with one sibling refusing to swing." The spokesperson continued to tell the only reporter present, "people think this is about raising our home values, which would be nice, and I wouldn't complain, cause you know, our price is still down from the 2007 peak, but this is really about supporting our local swings. How much do you think I could get for my place?"
Rogers Park

Artistic Drywall Man Not Very Tall

Inspired by a translated copy of The Fountainhead, a Central American drywall install specialist continued his Chicago quest to make closets that inspire, that come from his soul, and don't conform to useless standards imposed by the mindless masses. Unfortunately, his contractors keep firing him for his inability to create entryways that American adults can fit through. The fired drywall specialist is now being represented by an activist attorney specializing in discrimination against immigrant employees who suffer from undiagnosed spatial recognition disorder, sometimes referred to as Mayan Syndrome.
North Center