Chicago Home Offers View of Amazon

A Chicago landlord has taken measures to ensure that his tenants will no longer have to stare at the brick wall that surrounds his Albany Park multi-family. As of press time, the current tenants are enjoying the views of an Amazonian waterfall, and eagerly await the building owner's promise to offer celestial vistas and eventually deliver Rahm Emanuel's stately Ravenswood home.
ALBANY PARK

Chicago Sells Off Sidewalks to Hasbro

In his continued push to allow the private sector to control elements of Chicago's infrastructure, the Mayor has begun leasing sections of Chicago's highly prized sidewalks.

Some residents have already begun complaining that walking on certain portions of the leased sidewalk could mean an immediate trip to jail. And a few keen eyes have noted that the promised 'free parking' is nothing more than a gimmick since the one available spot is always occupied by a mysterious black van. One member of the city's highly influential government subsidized population was excited about the prospect of gaining 200 dollars for "nothing more than walking around the block." AVONDALE