Remaining in the Closet Not So Easy

A tenant who has spent his entire life hiding in the closet is not taking lightly to his landlady's recent rehab work.
ALBANY PARK

Bed Toys Unite & Beg You to Buy Home

In a desperate attempt to relocate to a bedroom that will allow them more space, sleeping companions from very divided factions have united in their plea to passing buyers. A young Bart Simpson pleaded with a potential buyer, "If I have to spend one more night crammed in Dora's armpit I'm gonna go on a serious rampage. Would ya just buy the place already!" The bi-partisan toy camp seemed to have no comment on the faulty plumbing fixtures and excessive listing price.
Logan Square