A NOT SO GLAMOROUS LOOK AT THE UNDERBELLY OF CHICAGO'S HOUSING MARKET


All photos taken live from Chicago properties & environs

Friday, June 28, 2013

Juliet Upset Over New Home


Former Verona resident Juliet Montague was upset over her husband's purchase of this aging Avondale single family home stating that the suspended outdoor space was woefully unsuited to lure neighborhood men who might choose to serenade her on a warm evening.
Avondale

Friday, June 21, 2013

Daughter's Pitiful Look Shows Well



In an effort to add some emotional value to their overpriced Albany Park two flat, the sellers asked their eight year old daughter to scribble sentimental notes on the wall and remain in mourning when potential buyers wanted to look in her room. The sellers did offer to leave their daughter if the buyers paid more for their furnishings.
Albany Park

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Dog Waiting to Attack Unsuspecting Buyers


Hoping to disguise ongoing water damage in their guest bedroom, the sellers of this Albany Park turn of the century cottage quarantined their dog to provide a seemingly valid excuse for why nobody could enter the room. One potential buyer overheard the ruffian muttering to himself, "my mother is a lying $#@&. save me. please. these glade plug-ins are killing me!"
Albany Park

Friday, June 14, 2013

Little Girl Scared of HGTV


After hours of being forced to watch HGTV by her parents, who were desperately trying to sell their overpriced Ukrainian Village home, this adventurous young girl decided to hide above her ill-fitting clothes. She was overheard by a realtor whispering, "Have you seen my backpack or my monkey?"
Ukrainian Village

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Multiiple Offers Intoxicate Seller


Surprised that five different buyers wanted to pay more than she paid at the height of the Chicago real estate boom, an overjoyed seller spent the evening, and most of the next three days, sequestered in her non-functioning jacuzzi tub wondering where exactly she would move to.
River North

Friday, June 7, 2013

Questionable Wallpaper Choice Explained



The seller's realtor was unable to provide a satisfactory answer as to why a 21st century homeowner would wallpaper the ceiling of an otherwise beautiful Logan Square Victorian. Then the buyer wandered into the basement office. As of press time, the buyer is still missing.
Logan Square

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Anti-Smoking VHS Bootlegger Foreclosed On


A notorious northside VHS video pirate who would place subliminal anti-smoking messages in his bootlegs was unable to compete with the booming LaserDisc market and has become another victim of the Chicago real estate crisis, losing his Edgewater Victorian mansion to foreclosure.
EDGEWATER