A NOT SO GLAMOROUS LOOK AT THE UNDERBELLY OF CHICAGO'S HOUSING MARKET


All photos taken live from Chicago properties & environs

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Jealous Swans Force AFLAC Executive to Sell


The Swans had no idea. They had been residing blissfully in the master ensuite, an adoring owner who thanked them repeatedly for his fortunes. Then their master left the bathroom television on by accident one day. The swans were furious. How dare their captor use a lowly duck to solicit the masses. An attempted drowning followed, then a quick call to a realtor, and now a battery executive is rumored to be the new buyer.
Edgewater

Friday, March 21, 2014

NAACP Vegan Girls Wear Fur to Sell Home


Selling a home in Hyde Park requires just the right mix of eccentricity to appeal to the neighborhood's notoriously unique reputation. And this family's children, rumored to be friends with the Obama girls, has taken to wearing their favorite furs to sell their childhood Victorian home. As an added bonus, the girls are offering buyers their famed Broccoli Brats at this weekend's open house.
Hyde Park

Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Realtor Promises that Creepy Dolls Included


The listing agent of this Lincoln Square three flat assured all prospective buyers that the rare collection of assorted Pop icon Barbie dolls could be included in the sale price of the home, not to worry. However, she was unable to assure anybody if the roof was still leaking, or the basement remained dry, or the electric was updated, or that anything in the house worked at all.
Lincoln Square

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Seller Assumes Nobody Will Notice

The seller of this outdated Bucktown worker's cottage knew his lack of windows would turn off potential buyers. So he did what any native Chicagoan would do, and installed a beautiful bay window, directly on top of a five foot mound of snow. "At least he used a level," muttered one prospective buyer.
Bucktown

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Children's Bathroom Sells Home

Parents are tired of exposing their children to marketing devices cloaked inside adorable furry creatures. At least that was the sentiment coming from the buyer of this loft style home, in West Town, who looked at his screen-free kids before proudly blurting, "Now that is what I'm talking about. Sold!"
West Town