Wall-less Bathrooms a Hit in Chicago

In the constant battle to stay ahead of the crowd, contractors have been introducing a design concept not yet seen in Chicago: a truly open bathroom. Cutting edge builders are citing the rise in open kitchens as their inspiration. One prominent Chicago developer stated, "hey, in mom's generation nobody wanted to see you cook, so who am I to say that among these millinelly, or whatever they are, buyers they don't wants to be in the shower and watch the kiddos play."
Andersonville

Supreme Court to Rule on Hardwood Floors

A local Chicago buyer has taken her builder to the nation's top court to decide if her hard wood floors are truly hardwood floors. The builder released this statement through his press agent, "I am builder, yes? She is ask for hard wood floor. I am make hard wood floor. I no understand problem. Lady is tell me she like deck I make very much. I am even make her special baseboard. America is crazy country."
Albany Park

Lincoln Square Alcoholics Celebrate Winter

Refusing to give in to Polar Vortexes and Global Cooling, a coterie of Lincoln Square residents, who casually drink six nights a week but definitely do not have a drinking problem, have been gathering around the Yule Pole of a recently listed property to enjoy bottles of Skyy Vodka. The owner of the aging Victorian has welcomed any activity that prevents buyers from realizing he has resided in the home for twenty years without spending a dime on property maintenance.
Lincoln Square

Rosemarie's Baby Found in Northside Attic

Hoping that a duplex up could salvage this tiny Albany Park two flat, an adventurous pair of buyers journeyed up into the attic. Upon hearing the screams of doom, both realtors and the seller utilized their recently obtained concealed weapon permits to bravely enter up the hatch. After a few erroneous shots, the seller started laughing, and calmly told the shivering buyers, "Ahh, that's what you hollering about, that's just the spawn of Satan. He's harmless".
Albany Park