Junkmail Protests Lead to Bigger Peepholes

More Chicago residents are joining the growing junkmail protest movement erupting throughout the country by removing their mailboxes. Some northside owners and tenants have noted the added benefit of a large security window. One resident commented, "Now I don't even open the gate. Pizza man just put the pizza in the mailbox, and Boom, I get my food, and he don't get in my place. Never did trust that pizza man." Albany Park

Government Regulating Dirty Laundry

In an effort to attract more homebuyers to assist the banks in alleviating their increasing foreclosure stock, the federal government has recently passed the SLOPPI(Soiled Laundry OMG Prevents Purchaser's Interest) Bill to assuage potential buyers fears that discarded clothing articles will become inherited fixtures. Violators, who refuse to place a visible barricade no closer than 32 inches from the offending pile, are urged to be reported to the SLOPPI hotline, 800-RU-SLOPI.
ROGERS PARK