Parents Demanding Time Out Caves in 2014

In an effort to fuse their quest for Asian level test scores and Scandinavian levels of happiness, Chicago parents are demanding homes sold with Time Out Caves in order to better prepare their children for 21st century success. Children have greeted the latest Chicago home fashion trend warmly, with one Northside brat telling reporters, "beats those stupid Suzuki piano lessons and quiet time yoga with my dumb stupid sister."
Lakeview

Missing Wood Posts Concern Buyer

The potential buyers of this 1890's Lakeview Victorian displayed profound concern upon descending into the basement to discover that the entire house was being supported by tree trunks. The wife looked over to her husband, and in a firm but slightly anxious voice, said, "We have GOT to get out of here. Why wouldn't they support their home with wood posts like everybody else. This is NOT safe. We have GOT to go. NOW!"
Lakeview

Definition of 'Electronics' Causes Confusion

The seller of this Roscoe Village single family home was observed smiling in the corner, abiding by the rules of his timeout. Then, without warning, he gleefully blurted out, "my wife has all these rules, all these rules, but she's losing this one. I do one 'mean' thing, like call her 'thick' or something, and then I can't use the dishwasher, or call to tell her I'm running late, or fix the DVR. It's great. Every husband should be put on the Electronics Time Monitoring System"
Roscoe Village