After decades of mastering the intricate drying cycles of delicates, semi-delicates, rayon, silk, polyester, cotton, blankies, boots, hats, rugs, and small pets, The Fabric Master has been relegated to the far musty corner of this Northside basement where he has been assigned to the much maligned dish towel and re-usable diaper duties. His resentment is brewing as the new Kenmore XL2000 moisture meter continues to deliver dry shrink-free yoga pants to a fawning mother day after day. "Just wait until she sees how much those replacement parts cost, she'll be begging me for work again. I'm the real Yogi here," Fabric Master muttered in disgust.
EDGEWATER
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