Statue of Liberty Sees the Light, Finally

After two centuries of darkness, struggling with the anxieties and tumult that come with being the sole bearer of liberty, Our Fair and Balanced Lady has finally seen the light. She was abducted by the unidentified flying object from the roof of this brick Avondale three flat at approximately twenty-three hundred hours yesterday evening by resident aliens who apparently mistook Our Lady for the illegal aliens that were harboring her.
AVONDALE