Organic Juice Lady Targets Cobra Drinkers

Local crazy Juice woman known to many locals as "that crazy Juice woman" has elevated her campaign to get Humboldt Park residents to drink healthy yummy organic locally pressed non pasteurized fair trade juice. She is calling her new campaign, "40's for Juice" and is imploring locals currently residing in the park to trade in their favorite malt liquor bottles and receive "a forty that won't need a paper bag."
HUMBOLDT PARK

Local Poets Fighting Gentrification

In the ongoing saga to keep local Chicago neighborhoods real, and free from the onslaught of people who care about their properties, block, and children, local poets have gone on a poetic rampage, with rivals posting lesser knowns tags:
Tattletales get Battlenails
Sellouts get Hellpouts
Yuppies get Puppies
HUMBOLDT PARK (where else?)

Going Green: Seller Makes Dubious Claim

In an effort to appeal to the Green Generation, more homesellers are deciding to support their homes with fallen utility poles, rather than Chinese made metal products. When this seller was asked what he planned on doing about the other 27 missing structural supports, he said, "Being GREEN ain't easy, ya know. It takes time, and patience, but in the end, use get a good product, ya know." Seconds later the Buyer was seen fleeing from the organic basement.
Pilsen