Mayor Proposes Foreclosure Target Shooting

As the city of Chicago continues to search for creative ways to bring more revenue into city coffers, one new suggestion has been allowed a trial period: Foreclosure target shooting. The program is already receiving backing from the NRA who applauded the decision stating, "'bout time those liberals understood the value of a gun." And one outspoken alderman remarked, "you know we got so many guns in this city here, and da feds won't let us ban 'em, and we got all these empty buildings, so why don't we just put 'em all together and make a few bucks."
Ukrainian Village

Bathroom Escape Hatches Gaining Popularity

Developers and Remodelers in Chicago are responding to growing homeowner demand to provide washroom facilities that allow users to exit through a backdoor in order to avoid issues that may result from the user's recent breakdown at dinner over her husband's inappropriate use of a salad fork to eat his steak, or itching desire to escape the constant nagging of her mother-in-law, or simply to allow the Indian dinner to air itself naturally.
RAVENSWOOD

Buyers Kept Awake by Strange Ceiling

Despite finding two other appealing homes, a Chicago couple spent the night arguing and googling about what could have been on the ceiling in that one Northside two flat that they had no intention of buying. Sculpted metal? Antique tin panel ceiling? Papier-mâché? An elaborate water leak cover-up? The work of an alien race?
Old Irving Park