Toddler Constructs Throne for Daddy

A rigorous Montessori program has allowed a local Humboldt Park toddler to build an elevated toilet so that her father could rest like a king when he tells her, "Daddy's busy now, go ask your mother". The same coveted preschool program is introducing an entire curriculum based around the crafting of space 'to honor those who love you.' It was stressed during class that the 'potty palace' could be for either parent much as the re-purposed Swedish massage room featuring exchange teacher/au pair Magnus on select evenings. After the construction of the second project, this featured home is now for sale.
Humboldt Park

Local Bath Fan Spreads the Wealth

The seller of this Jefferson Park bungalow apparently misunderstood his wife when she asked him to install a bath fan to satisfy a buyer's home inspection report. When confronted by his spouse about what kind of idiot was he, the bathroom fan installer responded, "You ask bath fan. I put bath fan. Now smell very much hallway. I no understand the women."
Jefferson Park

Vintage Waterproofing Attracts Thrifty Buyers

For a certain class of Chicago homebuyer, one seeking out historic properties at a low low price, there are elements of the 19th century they are hoping discover: tin ceilings hidden above a dropped tile ceiling, ornate molding stacked in an attic corner, stained glass windows buried in drywall, coal chute doors behind a piece of plywood.

One discovery in Garfield Park has lit up the DIY chatrooms - basement walls mounted on freestanding bricks. With so many Chicago basements subject to water penetration, homeowners spend inordinate amounts of money to keep basements dry only to find that the wily ways of water found yet another point of entry. Now the deal seeking buyers of Garfield Park greystones are recognizing the inherent genius in a forgotten turn of the century innovation. When one online commenter suggested, "you hipster idiots should get your heads examined", he was bombarded by posters telling him to, "go back to Lincoln Park" and "yuppie scum don't get re-use".
Garfield Park

Logan Square Continues to Innovate

As Chicago's latest destination for the creative class, Logan Square has become a showplace for cutting edge design. One proud resident, who has decided to sell his two flat to move into a re-purposed Sub-Zero refrigerator box, showed off his ceiling surround sound, promising Sonic Youth "at a whole new level, man."
Logan Square

Realtors Monopoly Threatened by Post-Its

Craigslist and Zillow have been scaring realtors for years that their practical monopoly of real estate sales was coming to an end. But that was nothing compared to the latest trend of DIY culture that has home sellers bypassing the internet and fast talking bluetooths altogether. Sellers of homes throughout Chicago have been spotted posting detailed descriptions of their properties. And to honor their hard work, they have refused to discount previously included commissions from their listing price, erroneously citing their right to eminent domain.
Portage Park

DIY Seller Shows Realtors How to Sell

Refusing to waste thousands on a Realtor, a local Ravenswood homeowner figured it couldn't be that hard to sell a home. After all, he reasoned, he'd sold plenty on Craigslist. So he boarded up the broken windows, left the broken tree limbs to cover them up, grabbed some flags from a nearby Street festival dumpster, and put up a For Sale sign previously used on his 93' Camry LE.

As of press time, a Realtor sign had been spotted along with shinier flags and pictures of the seller's agent covering the plywood windows.
Ravenswood

DIY and OMG Forming Partnership

A Lakeview homeowner came home one inebriated afternoon from Wrigley and decided to renovate her shower. The Ku-Ku Cubbie decided to work straight through the evening before eventually passing out on the bathroom floor. She was awoken from her roommate, apparently unable to figure out how to use the new shower, who sent a alarm ringing text message,"WTF!"
Lakeview

Dryer Vent Union Encourages Healthy Eating

In their bid to make Local 219, Union of Dryer Vent & Exhaust Fan Workers, an example for the expanding girth of fellow Union Brothers, the Dryer Vent Union has been leaving remnants of their lunch behind in a concerted effort to promote the healthy changes that Union workers are making to reduce health care costs while ensuring that your lint has immediate access to the outdoors. Ravenswood

Buyers Kept Awake by Strange Ceiling

Despite finding two other appealing homes, a Chicago couple spent the night arguing and googling about what could have been on the ceiling in that one Northside two flat that they had no intention of buying. Sculpted metal? Antique tin panel ceiling? Papier-mâché? An elaborate water leak cover-up? The work of an alien race?
Old Irving Park