Buyers Given One Hour to Decide or else...

A young couple looking to buy their first home in the Edgewater neighborhood was locked in the basement and told to 'work it out'. After thirty-five minutes, the realtor briefly entered the cellar, told the buyers they only had twenty-five minutes remaining, and left them a cheese ball. After one hour, there was a loud noise, and a realtor spotted leaving with a half-eaten cheese ball.
Edgewater

Owner Markets Home to Kids Who Love Doors

In an effort to assist homebuyers in seeing past forty-three years of neglect, the owner of this Logan Square Victorian decided she would take a cue from Saturday morning cartoon advertisers and appeal to parents through their children, putting "Behind the Brown Door" on her flyers. The owner is currently debating between two offers, one in the form of a paper airplane, and the other in crayon.
Logan Square

Maria Refuses to See Disgraceful Rehab Work

Local Logan Square icon, Maria, sometimes referred to as "The Celibate One", appearing simultaneously under nearby highway bridges and neighborhood backyards, has taken a new oath (with the help of Skylar's beer pong equipment) of blindness in an effort to avoid witnessing the overpriced single family conversion of this former Logan Square two flat, which substituted vintage detail for gleaming drywall and large shiny appliances.
Logan Square

Waterfall Feature Helps Owner Sell Dump

Lured by the promise of a "rare two story waterfall", a pair of new homebuyers were duped into overlooking various details of this poorly maintained Logan Square two flat. As soon as the potential buyer asked about low water pressure, the owner would say, "oh, yeah, the waterfall does freeze up in winter but it's still beautiful. The neighbors are jealous, for sure."
Logan Square