Stolen Fresco the Highlight of Open House

Buyers were not interested in the Jewel cookies or poorly staged bedrooms of this Rogers Park historic bungalow, but they all agreed on thing - that 'art thing' over the living room windows was 'really f*&king cool'. When told by the listing agent that the really f*&king cool art thing was not included in the sale, potential buyers were outraged, stating it was the 'only thing in the house of any value'. The realtor apologized profusely, then offered extra cookies to anybody willing to write an offer right there and then. One rather large gentleman wrote an offer, took his free box of cookies, and left. Upon reviewing the offer, the listing agent muttered a bit too loudly, "I f*&king hate open houses."
Rogers Park

Jury Summons for the Dead Sells Home

An elaborate home staging helped transform a neglected Uptown three flat into an empathy generating estate sale. The sympathetic buyer quietly asked, "does this mean we can low ball them?"
Uptown

Stainless Hoarders Hoarding Stained Stainless

Years after stainless steel appliances captivated kitchen owners across the country, their legacy, stained stainless, has finally taken control, and new home buyers can not wait to finally own these highly impractical overpriced machines. But one Lincoln Square curmudgeon has refused to let any home buyer get their greasy fingers on his perfectly fingered stained stainless refrigerator. And buyers are protesting by refusing to write offers.
Lincoln Square

Nostalgia Growing for Bush in Chicago

After a year of failed attempts by their elected leader to plunder the Unions, some Chicagoans are missing their favorite anti-proletariat politician of the last decade.
Little Italy

Loner Son Unhappy About Brother's Success

While touring potential buyers through his deceased parent's century old Pilsen worker's cottage, the son of the estate pointed to the wall and declared, "Look at that huge painting of my older brother and his stupid wife that everyone thinks is so amazing and their stupid little castle in Europe. And then me, with only that little photo. My parents never understood me. I hope you buy this place so I can get back to the desert and away from all this stuff."
PILSEN