Who likes to Party?

Chicago is serving as a test market for the new party machine, and single family home builders on the Northside are racing to provide them as part of the coveted overpriced new construction kitchen arsenal which includes a faucet over the stove guaranteed to save you upwards of five steps to your sink, a wine cooler that promises to deliver temperatures almost as good as your basement, and subway tiled everything to remind you of the delicious wafts once reserved for the depths of State and Lake.
Lincoln Square

Realtors Monopoly Threatened by Post-Its

Craigslist and Zillow have been scaring realtors for years that their practical monopoly of real estate sales was coming to an end. But that was nothing compared to the latest trend of DIY culture that has home sellers bypassing the internet and fast talking bluetooths altogether. Sellers of homes throughout Chicago have been spotted posting detailed descriptions of their properties. And to honor their hard work, they have refused to discount previously included commissions from their listing price, erroneously citing their right to eminent domain.
Portage Park

Neighbors Sad to See Garden Tenant Moving

The seller of this Logan Square three flat was unable to resist increasing home prices in his neighborhood, and finally accepted an offer, confiding in his neighbors that, "it has been nice to provide affordable rents and all, but this is an incredible offer, and to just tear it down, can you believe it?". The shocked neighbor quickly responded, "Does this mean Jerry is moving from downstairs? We really enjoyed his bathing routine."
Logan Square

Tripping on Linoleum Intrigues Buyers

Buyers from throughout Chicago lined up to trip on linoleum at this rarely available craftsman bungalow in Edgewater. The listing agent advertised that "tripping on linoleum has never been so fun" but was surprised to see that her cutesy expression attracted so many disheveled people, adorned with infantile teddy bears and fish, who appeared incapable of owning a home.
Edgewater