Bank Forces Homeowner to Play William Tell

An investigator for a large national bank showed up at this Logan Square two flat last week, bearing a crossbow and painted the dreaded Burroughs Circle on the kitchen wall before asking the borrower to assume the position and verify one more time if he's actually been unemployed for three years or has chosen not to work and live rent free. The home appeared vacant upon inspection with the buyers noting the strong smell of "something rotting."
LOGAN SQUARE

Seller Finds Tiles to Match Wall

After spending several hours at the Tile Outlet store, this home seller finally located two boxes of tiles, labeled 'Ebony Fungi', to match the unique patterns taking shape on his bathroom wall.
HERMOSA

Ruins of Failed Organic Family Discovered

An Albany Park homeseller has given up on growing food for his family after he discovered that tomatoes only come up once a year compared to his local Dominicks where he can get them everyday. His wife then discovered the same about carrots, and peas, and broccoli. They asked me to let everybody know that there is a great coupon for 99 cents frozen spinach. Only valid this week.
Albany Park