Free Range Chicken Enjoying Captivity

The tenants of this Edgewater three flat decided that their backyard chicken might enjoy the indoors for the winter. After initial disappointment at the lack of space, the formerly free ranging chicken has really taken to his new environs, enjoying such delicacies as peanut butter, soy sauce, mild mango salsa, a variety of Hormel products and finely aged half eaten pizza.
Edgewater

Dryer Vent Union Encourages Healthy Eating

In their bid to make Local 219, Union of Dryer Vent & Exhaust Fan Workers, an example for the expanding girth of fellow Union Brothers, the Dryer Vent Union has been leaving remnants of their lunch behind in a concerted effort to promote the healthy changes that Union workers are making to reduce health care costs while ensuring that your lint has immediate access to the outdoors. Ravenswood

Easter Bunny Enjoying His Rehabbed Two Flat

Tired of being that "other religious superhero", and perturbed about his lack of a dramatic entryway, the Easter Bunny has recently renovated an Avondale two flat to provide himself with a means to practice Resurrection Day Chimney Dives while still affording him the queer comforts of Peeps Moderne.
AVONDALE

Bank Forces Homeowner to Play William Tell

An investigator for a large national bank showed up at this Logan Square two flat last week, bearing a crossbow and painted the dreaded Burroughs Circle on the kitchen wall before asking the borrower to assume the position and verify one more time if he's actually been unemployed for three years or has chosen not to work and live rent free. The home appeared vacant upon inspection with the buyers noting the strong smell of "something rotting."
LOGAN SQUARE

Army of Little People Vanishes

A small but powerful band of marauding little people, last seen entering a dwarfish door in this abandoned Wicker Park 3 flat has not been seen in over a week despite the odd glow neighbors have reported seeing through the crumbling attic windows. Anyone with information is requested to call the Little People Motorbike Association immediately.
WICKER PARK

Grout Lined Granite is All the Rage

Remodelers and Developers continue to set trends in housing by offering the one thing a buyer should care about: Quality Countertops. In their latest effort to offer the prospective homebuyer comfort and luxury, builders are altering the previous decade's demand for smooth granite with the more contrasting feel of grout lined granite, formerly known as TILE. And all this is available right now, for the same price as the less desirable grout free granite.
AVONDALE

Seller Keeps Forgetting Her Name

After years of forgetting what people called her, the owner of this quaint northside home decided she would trade her notorious brooches for a rainbow assortment of easy-to-remove adhesive identifiers that required minimal storage space in her coat closet.
ANDERSONVILLE

Foreclosures Going Green

Riding the wave of Green euphoria sweeping the nation, banks have recently decided to provide green energy to their abandoned dilapidated uncared for properties so that prospective buyers will have solar powered lighting to witness the complete destruction caused by the bank's fine managerial practices.
BRIDGEPORT

Seller Finds Tiles to Match Wall

After spending several hours at the Tile Outlet store, this home seller finally located two boxes of tiles, labeled 'Ebony Fungi', to match the unique patterns taking shape on his bathroom wall.
HERMOSA