Landlord Really Wants to Rent

When asked why he wouldn't lower the rent on his Andersonville storefront to allow a start-up business a short term lease rather than keep the space vacant for months, the seasoned owner replied, "I'd rather take the losses on my taxes." When asked further if he felt his empty storefront was a blight on the neighborhood, he responded bluntly, "f*#k blight", before continuing, "It's my building not the neighborhood's."
Andersonville

Seller Stages Home to Attract Those People

The seller of this converted Ukrainian Village storefront was adamant she appeal to those people, you know, she squawked, the ones who get it. Ninety-four days later, nobody seems to get it, except those that aren't permitted to buy the property due to a school across the street.
Ukrainian Village

Limbless Man Asked to Protect Floppy Disks

The owner of this West Town multi-unit was unable to continue occupying his near West Side building due to an unfortunate circumstance which consisted of his inability to stop thinking about how much easier life would be in Arizona. Upon absconding from his Chicago brick pit, he asked his good friend, whom he'd met in a World Market, if he would watch over his valuable Commodore 64 computer and stack of confidential floppy disks.
West Town

Seller Gives Assurance that Everything is OK

The seller of this aging Pilsen storefront turned artist home and studio gave promising assurances that his unmaintained 123 year old building was "perfectly fine". He claimed the bathtub full of water was for his photo darkroom and the shaking floors were part of the home's charm.
Pilsen

Seller Appeals to Fans of Hanging Objects

In an effort to distinguish his mixed used storefront and apartment from other sellers, this Greatest Generation veteran decided to showcase various hanging items that can attract both afficionados of deconstructed mobiles and budget minded buyers looking for cost effective home security systems.
BUCKTOWN