Embarrassed Potty Makers Elated & Relieved

Legions of embarrassed potty makers, especially those looking to purchase potty maker friendly houses in the City of Chicago, have taken to social media to express their gratitude to the growing number of home sellers and developers who recognize the often forgotten community of home buyers suffering from Potty Making Syndrome.

For years, these home buyers, and others, have had to waste countless gallons of water and innumerable excuses to convince passers by that the potty making machine was not in use. Now, with the help of Victorian furniture, born in an era when people understood the perils of potty making, potty making outfitters have introduced the perfect potty making foil allowing users to simply leave the door open while they enjoy their magazine with a spot of tea.
Lakeview

Realtors Outsourcing Themselves to Kinkos

In an effort to further minimize the time they spend working, listing agents have decided that their clients would be better served by Kinko's new Realtor Helvetica than then they would by a smiling face that informs potential buyers that the bright room they are looking at is in fact, bright.
Lakeview

Backyard Offers Stark View of Reality

The potential buyer of this Logan Square turn of the century brick two flat was surprised to discover the ominous message looming over his prospective backyard. The longtime owner noticed the buyer's look of despair and cheerily added, "Oh, don't mind that, the sponsor seems to change every decade or so, but the message is always the same."
Logan Square

New Owner Opts to Shower in Sink

After spending several months searching for a historically accurate Lincoln Park home, the new owner has spent every morning of his first week of residence staring at his showers before giving up and retreating to the sink basin. Sources claim that he is hopeful that next week will bring better luck.
Lincoln Park

Lottie's Upset Over Bucktown Bucket List

The recent publication of the annual Bucktown Bucket List has not only upset the potential buyers of new Bucktown property, but apparently the proprietors of Lottie's pub, a neighborhood watering hole notorious as that illicit gambling den run by a transvestite named Walter that eventually became a Bucktown meeting place for residents looking for a dark intimate place to escape. The owners have expressed frustration that "those darn bucket list writers" don't recognize the value of a transformed bar generously surrounded by large flat screen televisions offering sporting events at loud volumes while providing Miller Lite specials and discounted halftime Jager Bombs.
Bucktown

For Sale Sign Replaced with Honest Signs

In a nascent effort to alter the perception of real estate as an industry that emulates the ethics of third world governments, a local Chicago real estate firm has decided to remove their lovely For Sale signs and the welcoming women who adorn them. In their place, signs directing the buyer to potential issues with the property have been installed. Buyers are even given a certified inspection report upon previewing the property to ensure they know exactly what they are bidding on.
Humboldt Park

Free Cookies Didn't Work at Open House

Having failed to connive potential buyers with home baked cookies, a Ukrainian Village couple, proudly selling their severely overpriced brick three flat, has resorted to giving away free alcohol in an effort to blur buyers' ability to notice smallish bedrooms, an outdated kitchen, those three elongated cracks in the ceiling, and the strong odor of wet Labrador mixed with rotting Indian food.
Ukrainian Village

Limbless Man Asked to Protect Floppy Disks

The owner of this West Town multi-unit was unable to continue occupying his near West Side building due to an unfortunate circumstance which consisted of his inability to stop thinking about how much easier life would be in Arizona. Upon absconding from his Chicago brick pit, he asked his good friend, whom he'd met in a World Market, if he would watch over his valuable Commodore 64 computer and stack of confidential floppy disks.
West Town