Lowest Flow Toilet Attracts Green Buyers

In a bid to attract more discerning and eco-conscious buyers, developers and sellers alike are beginning to offer zero water toilets. While initially only popular with buyers hailing from particular countries, more environmentally savvy buyers are now requesting this resource saving dynamo. This home seller told reporters, "after dropping $100,000 on a geothermal heating system, and another $200,000 for a backyard windmill, it's a real relief to only spend a few thousand bucks on one of these."
Rogers Park

ComEd Provides Buddhas to Boost Energy Use

Concerned over the growing 'green' movement,and its advocacy of less energy consumption, local electric provider ComEd has decided to utilize the alleged leader of all things conscientious, the esteemed Siddhartha Buddha, a.k.a "that fat smiling guy, Jimmy". ComEd customers can now go to the company's website and request that a service representative come to the billing address and affix a Buddha sculpture within six to eight inches of their thermostat. ComEd officials are also considering the dispersal of other encouraging statues, including but not limited to Jesus H. Christ, Al Gore, Jerry Garcia, and Pamela Anderson.
JEFFERSON PARK

Hinckley Springs Offers Green Water System

In renewed efforts to capture the lucrative 'green' market, Hinckley Springs has begun offering homeowners a unique water filtration service that turns their leaky roofs into that "delicious Hinckley Springs taste you've come to trust".
JEFFERSON PARK

Foreclosures Going Green

Riding the wave of Green euphoria sweeping the nation, banks have recently decided to provide green energy to their abandoned dilapidated uncared for properties so that prospective buyers will have solar powered lighting to witness the complete destruction caused by the bank's fine managerial practices.
BRIDGEPORT

Dual Flush Toilets for the Budget Minded

First time home buyers with limited budgets have discovered that five minutes with a sledgehammer significantly strengthens their environmental credentials.
Humboldt Park