A NOT SO GLAMOROUS LOOK AT THE UNDERBELLY OF CHICAGO'S HOUSING MARKET


All photos taken live from Chicago properties & environs

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Plastic Bags are the New Subway Tiles

Tired of being like everybody else, some homeowners are forgoing the trendy subway wall tiles and even glass mosaics for a more eco-friendly aesthetic. One homeseller summed it up to the buyers of her Logan Square two flat as, "there are just too many plastic bags littering our streets, and not many people know they are waterproof, so why give money to those huge tile conglomerates, when we should all just re-cycle, re-use and re-shower."
Logan Square

Monday, September 24, 2012

Dryer Vent Union Encourages Healthy Eating

In their bid to make Local 219, Union of Dryer Vent & Exhaust Fan Workers, an example for the expanding girth of fellow Union Brothers, the Dryer Vent Union has been leaving remnants of their lunch behind in a concerted effort to promote the healthy changes that Union workers are making to reduce health care costs while ensuring that your lint has immediate access to the outdoors. Ravenswood

Friday, September 21, 2012

Bi-Polar Seller Offers Conflicting Sales Pitch


The Seller of this Lincoln Square two flat has assured all buyers that they will absolutely love her restored 1920's brick building, that is, if they are even willing to knock on her front door.
Lincoln Square

Monday, September 17, 2012

Child Still Missing


While their parents explored a brick turn of the century two flat in Chicago's Logan Square neighborhood, two adventurous children decided to play hide and go seek. One child is still hiding.
Logan Square

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Dead Linoleum Salesman Leaves Treasure


Prospective buyers to this Lincoln Square bungalow were treated to an awesome display of mid to late 20th century vinyl flooring. Available immediately were 1955's famed sunburst yellow herringbone design and 1973's notorious Serpico Brown.
Lincoln Square

Monday, September 10, 2012

Owner Decides to Leave Electric Chair


The retiring owner of this Humboldt Park multi-family building has decided to bequeath his infamous electric chair to the new owners of his much beloved near Northwest side compound. When asked why he didn't want to take his electric chair with him, the owner quickly replied, "Me. No need this chair. People here sometime make problem for me. No want pay rent. I say, ok. You no pay, you come with me basement. I put them chair. They are cry like baby. One minute later they are pay me. Cash. They always have so much cash. Good building. You will like."
Humboldt Park (WEST BUCKTOWN!)

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Agent Can't Find Bathroom Fan


After spending the better part of seven minutes trying to locate the bathroom fan, known to millions worldwide as "the cover-up device", the listing agent of this Wicker Park worker's cottage apologized profusely, stating "I wouldn't want to use a bathroom without a fan either. I promise you the owner will fix this."
Wicker Park

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Boiler Enjoying New Hair Care Products


After experiencing a near melt-down with a value size can of AquaNet, this SouthSide boiler has recently switched to the more soothing, and safer, styling gel, choosing Walgreens brand because he exclaimed, "it's all the same sh#t, just like these brick two flats, just depends on how you use them."
Bridgeport