Renegade Traveler Prepares for New Years

After years of swiping airplane shots from the carts of unsuspecting flight attendants, this intrepid Chicago flyer has decided to restore her antique dining room hutch back to it's natural state by welcoming in the new year with her prized bounty, including a rare bottle of Eastern Airline's signature Rumplemintz Dark.
AVONDALE

Bed Toys Unite & Beg You to Buy Home

In a desperate attempt to relocate to a bedroom that will allow them more space, sleeping companions from very divided factions have united in their plea to passing buyers. A young Bart Simpson pleaded with a potential buyer, "If I have to spend one more night crammed in Dora's armpit I'm gonna go on a serious rampage. Would ya just buy the place already!" The bi-partisan toy camp seemed to have no comment on the faulty plumbing fixtures and excessive listing price.
Logan Square

Single Mom Asks to Leave the Lights On

Since it's the holiday season, and this lovely family of three was planning on traveling to visit their Uncle Joseph, who had an uncanny resemblance to his nephew and niece, they requested that visitors to their well kept Victorian home keep their lights on in case Uncle Nickie comes down the chimney, and needs to find the fridge.
Logan Square

Squirrel's Mom Beginning to Worry

Two weeks have passed, and Mom is beginning to fear the worst. This would be the fourth child she has lost this year, and she's begun to narrow her suspicions down to the mischievous seller of this Humboldt Park brick three flat who proudly describes himself as an "urban hunter and one bad#$$ salsa dancer."
Humboldt Park

Dual Flush Toilets for the Budget Minded

First time home buyers with limited budgets have discovered that five minutes with a sledgehammer significantly strengthens their environmental credentials.
Humboldt Park

Seller's Wife Refuses to Lower Price

After submitting a reasonable offer for this Logan Square vintage brick cottage with a wonderful post-modern library collection, the buyers were shocked to have it flatly rejected by an apologetic husband who simply shrugged his dashiki clad shoulders, and said, "it's out of my hands, sorry."
Logan Square

Embarrassed Dog Locks Himself in Bedroom

An apparently large and loud dog locked himself in his bedroom during a recent Humboldt Park property showing, howling with shame as the confused buyers debated the best way to see the locked master suite.
Humboldt Park

Buyer Still Deciding Whether it's Safe to Go

As of press time, the anxious buyer was still alone in the Avondale basement, staring, deciding if something would come up and bite her if she used the facility. She also debated the functionality, hygiene, privacy, and legal implications of using the commode during the showing.
AVONDALE

Optical Illusion Turns Out to Not Be

Two windows for the price of one. Some contractors are now offering this special throughout the Southside for value oriented consumers. They plan on launching a similar program for doors in the Spring.
Bridgeport

Owners Suspected of Sacrificing...Something

The prospective buyers of this Lincoln Square greystone tried desperately to figure out why there were bones and fabric around the fireplace. When asked if they wanted to take another look at the new master suite addition, they responded with a curt, "No, this is much more interesting."
LINCOLN SQUARE

Ruins of Failed Organic Family Discovered

An Albany Park homeseller has given up on growing food for his family after he discovered that tomatoes only come up once a year compared to his local Dominicks where he can get them everyday. His wife then discovered the same about carrots, and peas, and broccoli. They asked me to let everybody know that there is a great coupon for 99 cents frozen spinach. Only valid this week.
Albany Park

Former Owner Haunts Foreclosure

Prospective buyers of a Logan Square two flat claimed a creepy presence was following them in the garage, completely abandoned except for a wrought iron window guard, which clearly confused the buyer when she nervously asked, "What is a Rawl?"
Logan Square